the skanky frankie show.

ugh.

2009-07-10T04:45:42Z

i'm never going to be awesome enough.
i think i'm pretty, but apparently i'm only pretty to really creepy unattractive people.
i can't seem to find a guy thats on my level, attractive...
part of me fears that i'm never going to find someone better than dylan.
part of me thinks that i'm never going to find anyone again.
part of me things that i'm just super sexually frustrated.

whatever. forget it.
i'll just stick with being a side kick again,
see how that goes.

hi.

2009-06-01T14:39:59Z

my body is so sore from scooping so much ice cream all day long every day of my life. i've come to the realization that this summer is the first that i've been single since i was fifteen. its a weird concept, and i've found myself liking it. i mean, i would love to fall in love and have a boyfriend and all that good shit, but i'm really happy and really content with how things are going right now. i'm not sure that theres really a point to actively searching out someone. if someone wants me, they can let me know. and i'll let them know whether they're on my level or not.

until then, i'm just going to do what i do. not a worry in the world.

franc3sisl0v3ly @ 2009-05-30T10:24:00

2009-05-30T14:27:15Z

I'm so sick of so many things. Mainly men in general, my newfound lack of apathy of being screwed over. Which seems to happen all the time... How hard is it to find a nerdy but cute, smart but not condescending, working but still has time for me, movie loving, book reading, good-music listening, high-fiving guy that will want to call me his? Seriously, I'm so sick of getting my hopes up. I just feel like nothing lately is quite on my level, quite what I want, and I'm not willing to settle for something that isn't what I want.

Sighhhh.

oh man.

2009-05-20T21:06:10Z

things are just so confusing all the time as of late.
i just wish i could fast forward to four years from now,
so i could see and understand what will happen.
i'm just sick of the anxiety.

lmao.

2009-05-16T06:38:20Z

at what i'm watching. insert whiny entry about hating be lonely.

ffffffuck.

2009-05-14T01:50:46Z

I'm sick of dealing with guys all the time.

last night.

2009-05-10T15:49:22Z

i hung out with laura suzanne scott,
we went to tara's and it was weird.
i haven't seen those kids in what
seems like years - which is was.
i made out with tara, compared boobs
with her and sarah. made an ass of
myself on the phone to brett, got
a little too drunk. saw chris barnes
testicle while tara drew all over
him in orange sharpie. i just kept
thinking over and over in my head,
this is so high school.

but i had a good time.

sick.

2009-05-08T21:01:41Z

if you want me, tell me. don't get all up on my nuts in person and then never text me. i dont wan tto be a second thought, i won't sit on the back burner, and i'm not holding out for you. so give me what i want or i'm out - I'm not pulling out your insides with my bare hands. I don't need to chase you, I have plenty of guys chasing me. So please, please, please give me what i want.

and if you're smart, you'll do this one thing. and then you can relax, because its smooth sailing after this point.

franc3sisl0v3ly @ 2009-05-05T16:18:00

2009-05-05T20:19:30Z

im sick of.

2009-05-04T16:14:14Z

getting my hopes up.
so if i hope for nothing,
i wont get my feelings afsdafasdf up.

everything.

2009-04-28T18:54:58Z

is eventual.
that high had to end.
now i'm just me.

HI.

2009-04-27T21:00:29Z

i hope it storms so hard that it rattles the windows.

last night.

2009-04-25T18:14:11Z

i met a boy with my name.
i went to the beyond.
i chased lightning.
i laid in a hammock,
just hoping for one shooting star.
i had an in-depth chat,
i got kissed.
i raced the sunrise home to see who would make it first.
it was a tie.

i love my life. please don't ruin it.

franc3sisl0v3ly @ 2009-04-21T03:48:00

2009-04-21T03:48:51Z

so i hope everyone had as great of a day as me.
:] and i also hope that everyone celebrated.
as well as i did.

franc3sisl0v3ly @ 2009-04-19T23:29:00

2009-04-20T03:31:08Z

today i:
woke up next to someone amazing.
drove home and ate some sausage.
made five dollars at work.
had a nice turkey dinner with the family.
came home and myspaced somemore.
and now i need to go to bed.

its so weird that after two nights in bed with someone amazing,
i have to sleep alone :[

ohhai.

2009-04-19T16:21:59Z

I met a guy. He's adorable, he's funny, he's the best cuddler in the world. When I think about him, it makes my heart beat faster. I get butterflies when I imagine all the places we could go. However... however. I don't want to get my hopes up again. I don't want to think that this could end in a few days.

And at the same time, I'm unable to allow myself a safety net. I don't believe in falling if you have any reservations, and I don't think its possible to fall for someone if you keep your guard up. I'm an open book for him, and hopefully he wants to read more.

Oh yeah. And he's great in bed :]

tell me why.

2009-04-17T03:37:25Z

I like you. A lot.
However....
"istillloveher."
does not give me much hope.

wow.

2009-04-14T16:32:59Z

i just want another hand to cover mine, fingers to intertwine, hearts to beat, cheeks flushed from wine.

franc3sisl0v3ly @ 2007-10-31T12:23:00

2007-10-31T16:24:46Z

omg! post.
this is coming to you straight from my sister's laptop.
how is the world?
i am so disconnected from everything lately,
not just because i dont have a computer at my dad's.
but because i've been hibernated.
tell me whats going on.
i want to know.

its hard to let go.

2007-09-19T16:59:32Z

but sometimes you have to. when god closes a door, he opens a window.
and i hope that the window he opened is really big. so i can jump through.
things that are constantly bugging me:
my weight
my hair
my thoughts
my heart
my brain.

i wish that things could have worked out, for the second time, but they didn't. of course, the first weekend was perfect, and the second time around we slipped into the monotonous schedule that we carried out before. and i didn't want to get sucked back into that world. so, i left again, still wishing that things could have been different. the sex was good, but that wasn't enough to keep me there.

i don't understand women who can stay with someone who doesn't treat them like they're the whole world. i don't understand how someone can stay in a relationship where the love isn't real, where they aren't being treated well, and they don't feel special. maybe i was made different, because i sure as hell couldn't deal with it. maybe i just have a problem with love, and being in it.

no, thats not right. the begining was full of the love, and the end was the point where i felt more alone and numb than i ever had. it just makes me so sad to think that i can still care about someone a lot, and i know that they care about me, but they refuse to change to better themselves and have me. because it makes me feel not worth the change, you dig?

but, i know just as well as anyone else that you can't change anyone. they have to want it themselves.

its so hard.

2007-08-22T20:53:02Z

ugh. i miss everything about the way things used to be, but i know that i can't have it. i wouldn't go anywhere with my life if i was still living in jonesville at dylan's mom's house, and i know that im better than that. so is he. he could be doing a million things with his life, but he doesn't. and i hate that about him. i hoped that me leaving would be a push he needed to change himself, reevaluate his priorities, but it isn't. i hope one day that he finds a girl who will change his world, and he'll want to be with her so badly that he would do anything.

you can't change people. they have to want to change for anything to happen. and dylan want to change for me. and thats almost like being dumped, in my opinion. it hurts so hard because i loved him so much, and he's wasting his life. i just hope that his life becomes what he wants it to be, and he finds happiness somewhere.

as for me... i'm working on it.

i feel:

2007-08-09T20:37:09Z

like i'm wasting my life.
like i'm turning out exactly how everyone feared i wold.
that i'm never going to write my books.
that i'm getting dylan gaston syndrome.
that none of my childhood dreams are ever going to come true.
that i wasted my parents money on things i didn't need.
that college is going to be impossible, even at jcc.

i just hate who i'm becoming. i don't know what it is. i need to make it stop.

well.

2007-07-22T19:25:45Z

I finished the book yesterday at 8 AM (yes, I am a Harry Potter nerd) and boy was it amazing.
I hate to admit it, but yes I cried.
And I hate that its over :[

im getting ready.

2007-06-23T02:46:46Z

to head out to a party.
should be magical, eh?!

ugh.

2007-06-19T02:48:03Z

sometimes, everything hurts.
and nothing can fix it.